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In a fucked-up way, this was the closest I'd had to a real girlfriend in years.

And the more we got to know each other, the more the sex improved. She started calling me every day, a half hour before my reading, when she knew I'd be out in the van getting my notes ready.

Nicole was a great listener, willing to indulge each tangent of every story she was told.

She was as curious about my life as I was about hers.

Then, one day, her number was no longer in service. A few months ago, my van broke down on the freeway near my house, and as I waited for a tow and the bitter cold edged in, I started playing that game I play when I'm feeling lonely, the one where I review all of my prior relationships, marveling that so many sweet, smart, pretty girls have come into my life and that I've found a way to fuck things up with every one of them.

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